Even if you do not have suffered from a jealous kid or have acted like a jealous vindictive spoiled kid against your sister or brother when you were young and immature, you have probably heard that jealousy between brothers and sisters can be a very powerful emotion leading children and parents to deal with all sorts of unexpected "thrills." Neglected older children or "babies" that cannot get over the fact that they are not alone in world compete against each other in order to gain their parents' attention.
This annoying situation can become an endless source of competition and rivalry between siblings. Thus, the following five tips were collected to assist parents in managing jealousy and bringing harmony back into their homes.
- Treat children as unique individuals
Siblings do not to be treated exactly the same. When it comes to family, democratic guidance is usually advisable, but it should not be considered a "golden rule." Giving exactly the same amount of love and attention is not always feasible and in many cases it is not even wise. This is supported by the fact that children become suspicious instead of being satisfied with what parents are able to offer. Treating kids as individuals instead of equals can reduce them from counting every single act and making comparisons.
- Avoid comparisons at all costs
Never compare the acts of one child with that of the other! Instead of telling them what they should be doing through using an example like that of their "good" sister or brother, it is preferable if you just state your reasoning and provide sound arguments for your position, as speaking to an adult. Creating guilt to your child will never bring the desired results and you will be facing in the future lifelong resentments and grudges that will follow them forever.
- Cultivate the unique skills of your children
In order to build your child's self-esteem, foster his or her skills in a different way from that of his/her brother or sister. Children that enjoy the outcomes of their special efforts together or through the exact same way are prone to feel less loved or neglected. Set your children's successes apart and keep the necessary balance.
- Spend time alone with each kid
Before regretting not spending more time with your kids, make this precious time your priority and focus on finding the time and the energy to explore the vast possibilities of spending some quality time together.
- Decide and draw the necessary boundaries
Respect each other's stuff and premises is of extreme importance. Teaching your kids what it means to show respect to the personal space, like bedrooms, or needs, like time alone to relax, is of extreme importance in wisely parenting your children and helping them build character.