Pick up any book on planning a wedding and you’ll end up with so many do’s and don’ts on every aspect of the event that it begins to overwhelm you. Some women are known to have suffered nervous breakdowns in the midst of preparations. Scary, no?
“Do I really want to go through with this shebang?”, you ask yourself as your nerves begin to jingle and jangle. Budgeting and where to get the funds is one thing, but the stress a wedding generates puts such enormous strain on the couple that it does take a clever make-up artist to camouflage the manifestations of six to twelve months of stress. Would-be brides break out, they lose weight (or gain weight if they overeat as a result of stress), and can’t focus very well. Mostly it’s the skin rashes like pimples and hives that are disconcerting.
We’d like to share some wedding tips with you, but read them only if you’re relaxed. We’ve taken a different approach – a lighter discussion on some aspects of the wedding planning scenario that you’ll need to grapple with as you go along. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that just because you’ve hired a professional wedding planner to handle all the nitty-gritty, you’re home free. Like it or not, folks, you’re still very much part of the “manufacturing” process. Producing a wedding just isn’t possible if the planner can’t consult with you every single day.
So bon courage, as the French say, and take it as another one of those “hiccups” in life. YOU can make it fun and the rule is to enjoy yourself – even in the chaos!
Important Wedding Tip - Do We Have Good Credit?
“At 20 years of age, the will reigns; at 30, the wit; and at 40, the judgment.” (Benjamin Franklin).
We’re not asking you to wait until you hit your 40s to get married because your judgment has matured by then. But when planning a wedding, you’ll need to harness good judgment early on, especially when it concerns the financial aspects of planning a wedding. If you’re in your 20’s, act with the wisdom of a 40-year old when you establish your wedding budget. You don’t want to end up cash-strapped for the next 10 years of your lives because you overdid it – in the ceremony, reception and in the honeymoon.
If you haven’t got enough cash and your parents are unable to contribute, speak to your banker and see if he’ll increase your line of credit. If you’ve got a healthy credit score, he will empathize with you and gladly extend you credit. Everyone knows that getting married can be financially draining.
Hold a wedding that you can afford. Never mind the Joneses. If you want to invite the whole community because you’re the type of person who can’t bear to exclude anyone, then settle for a less formal wedding. If you really want a formal wedding, then scale back on your wedding list. Decide what’s important.
Plan Way Ahead
“Not only is there NO God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.” (Woody Allen)
You may be wondering why we’ve chosen this particular quote. It has to do with schedules, forward planning, last minute arrangements and emergencies. If you decide to get married, don’t think that you can pull it off in a couple of months, especially when you want to invite about 200 people and have the usual niceties on hand.
Wedding tip: if you allow yourself at least six months before the actual wedding date (12 months is actually ideal), then you can make provisions in case a vendor is not available to take your order. This will enable you to finalize all vendor agreements ranging from flowers, music, photography, catering, invitations, favors and a myriad of other details that can be overlooked. Put time on your side by planning way ahead.
If you’re getting married in June, you know that you’ve chosen the busiest time of the year for people tying the knot. So if your favorite stationery store can’t handle your invitations at a month’s notice, who can? If your favorite patissier can’t book your order for that special wedding cake because he’s got an order list like Chicago’s Golden Mile, you could be stuck. In fact, we read somewhere that bakers would like at least six months’ notice. A few can do your cake in three months, and count yourself lucky if you find him that easily.
We wrote in another article that if you want to hold the ceremony and reception at your home or at your parents’ estate, do make sure that yes…the plumbing system passes a health test. This is the happiest day of your life, you don’t want a toilet overflowing with…(OMG!) to spoil it.
Location, Location, Location!
“Ocean: a body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.” (Ambrose Bierce)
If some people can exchange vows standing on top of an Alaskan glacier, then there are people who can exchange vows in the dark and cold abyss of the deep ocean floor. If that’s your cup of tea, that’s your privilege. But if you’re going to be donning scuba diving suits and oxygen tanks, we’re not sure all of your guests would want to do the same. “Oh, but the ocean scares me. I can’t possibly swim down there, much less float!” Or “you want me to wear THAT and make my way THERE?
Have it your way. It is, after all, your wedding. But be considerate of your guests. If they’d rather wait for you on land, give them something to do and provide some suntan lotion as well. (Leave instructions that if you and your spouse and the minister don’t surface in half an hour, they should alert the coast guard or the sea patrol or whatever they call them these days). Also, if you can find a minister or priest who’d be willing to wear scuba gear and can stay in position for 20 minutes in the deep blue sea, please write us with his phone number. We’re sure many beach and ocean lovers who plan on marrying one day will want to get in touch with him.
Wedding Tip on Wedding Bands
“Love, as told by the seers of old, comes as a butterfly tipped with gold, flutters and flies in sunlit skies, weaving round hearts that were one time cold.” (Swinburne)
You’re wearing your engagement ring, and now that THE day is approaching, it’s time to think of your wedding bands. The wedding band is the most concrete expression of your union. It speaks a mouthful of your devotion for one another. While the engagement ring can be as elaborate as money can buy, wedding bands are more simple, and probably more elegant, and certainly more blessed (the officiant blesses them during the ceremony). Choose a simple design made of gold (yellow, rose or white); some couples prefer to go with silver or platinum. In case you didn’t know, platinum is the strongest of the three metals and also the most expensive.
Be assured then that if you choose a platinum wedding band, it won’t get smashed when you have your first fight after the honeymoon. You could be hurling glasses and china against the wall, but your wedding band will stay intact. Your initials and that of your husband’s and the wedding date inside the bands will remind you to kiss and make up when there’s nothing left in the China cabinet.
Wedding tip: if you’re investing in good wedding bands, ask the jeweler for a Certificate of Authenticity. Purchase your bands from a reputable store.
Here’s a suggestion: if you can’t find wedding bands to your liking, you can design them yourself and have a craft artist make them for you.
And the Most Eloquent of - Wedding Tips is…
If you were born in the 40s and 50s you must have heard of James Dean. He led a turbulent life, probably because he said this:
“Dream as if you’ll live forever; live as if you’ll die tomorrow.”